Imagine. You go out for the day. Lunch with your friends, shopping downtown and then a happy hour drink with your honey. Now imagine you had every one of those things planned out beforehand. Lunch at 1.Shopping at 2:30, and cocktails at your favorite bar at 5. When you return home, there are 5 messages on your answering machine. Does that seem impossible? Well it wasn’t too long ago that that scenario was a reality. There were no cell phones. Every plan that you had, you had to make beforehand and you couldn’t cancel because there was no way of getting in touch with your friends unless you went home. Or used a pay phone.

Call me crazy but I kinda miss those days! Sure there are benefits to this new technology revolution but each day that goes by, I have to keep reminding myself of what they are. Sometimes at work, (I work in a bar/restaurant) I see tables of 4 where every one of them is looking down at their phone. What’s the point of going out if you’re going to be texting or on your iphone the whole time?It has really become a pet peeve of mine.

They say that this technology stuff is supposed to bring people closer together. It’s supposed to advance the level of communication.I think there are truths to that-it allows people who are far away from each other geographically able to communicate easily. However, it brings people who are actually in the same room together farther apart. It takes you away from the present moment, from who you are with right now.

Remember when there were no cell phones and you actually had to talk to the people you were having dinner with?When you had to talk to the bartender and couldn’t hide behind your ipad?or to the people waiting in line at the Starbucks? What did you talk about? I’m sure it was much more inspirational than looking at your iphone screen. Even if you just talk about the weather, human interactions can be so important! I fear that we are losing it.

We are instead becoming obsessed with Perception-the way people perceive us. If we post hot pictures of ourselves on Facebook, then we are hot. If we have 10000 friends then we are cool. That’s just not the truth my friends. It makes me sad for the generations that will not know what it was like without cellphones and internet. We have to continue to grow and evolve on the inside and for ourselves, not for others. Do things for fun, not because it will make a good picture on FB.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand wanting to share these moments and pics with your friends but I feel it is becoming much more of an obsession. A strange exhibitionism and voyeurism. You can present yourself any way you want. And usually, it’s a facade.

There was in fact a time when all this didn’t exist. When you weren’t interrupted by a text message, picture mail, email alert. I realize going back is not an option. But slowing down and being aware is. So next time you’re out to dinner with a friend, turn your ringer off. Be there. Have a conversation. Look around and notice if other tables are on their phone or are talking to each other. How does it make you feel when you see everyone around a table on their phone. For me, it makes me sad.

I should mention that I’m no angel. I’m not saying I never do this. But I am making a choice to be conscious and aware. I don’t answer my phone during dinner, nor do I text. I would like to try to be in the present moment to soak it all in. I love that I am more connected to my friends in Italy, and NYC, but I want to stay connected to my friends here in SF. I think we would all benefit from being on our phones less, and more engaged in our lives, and in the moment. But that’s just me. What do you think?

love,
Dana

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